A Bad Day, it all began at 7:10!!!

Update on Mikes work situation:
There is NOT a working situation anymore. He was working for a company based out of Arizona, but that ended and now we are back to square one. I can't believe it. He wants to start his own business but says that I am a distraction, and that the kids are noisy. I feel like an intruder in my own home. Needless to say, we go places everyday, and stay there a LONG time. I get sooo bugged that we can't be here, being who we are. I just am having a hard time with this. I feel like the worst wife, I try to be supportive, but it's sooo hard when I don't see the results. I don't mean to be bitter, but....
I should back up a little, so you know what kind of week I have had. I went to see my parents this week (to get out of the house so it could be quiet) and on the way home, I fell asleep three times on the way home, on the freeway. To everyone, I know I am stupid and this will never happen again. I was talking to my mom tonight and told her, and she had a different spin on things. She was grateful that I didn't hit the wall the first time, and the two semi's the next two times. I really felt someone telling me to wake up, and then feeling someone help me NOT over correct. I still cannot believe how dumb I was. Two sleeping, innocent kids in the back, and then me being sooooo irresponsible, and stupid in the front. I am so grateful to the Lord and the angels who helped me get my angels home safe that day. I was not tired and I still don't know what happened. I felt like the crappiest mom ever, and still do.
And that brings us to today:
This morning began nice and early, Hailey seems to love to wake up at 7:10 (I hate daylight savings time, something in me wishes I was moving to Arizona!), and she comes and gets me, and this morning I did not want to move until Ryker woke up, which was at 7:23, so I got out of bed and started the day.
Haileys' earrings has been having some issues lately, and every time we need to clean them, wow, she is screaming and yelling, kicking, and this morning she called me mean mommy. I almost cried. I gave up, Mike I think got it cleaned out. I think he gave up too and took the other one out too. It has been almost three months, so I hope her holes don't close in.
Then came the play dough fun, her friend Hayley came over and played with her. Ryker wanted to but he ate it again, so I ended that pretty fast. Play date went well, but my mind was just already on "over it."
Then I was going to attempt Costco. Well Mike looked at me and said I was crazy taking two kids alone to Costco with the day I was having. So, as with everything, Mike gets his way. I stayed home and made lunch for us (mostly him, I'm fine with sandwiches).
Then I put Ryker in his highchair and made Fajitas for lunch. I was trying to keep my spirits up. I love to cook and clean when I have a lot on my mind.
Nap time was next. They fell asleep great, and I got to exercise while they were asleep. It felt really great.
I thought "oh the day is better after naps, let's go outside and clean out the car, vacuum , wipe, everything." To my surprise it went pretty well.
Then I started to go on a walk with some of the moms from my ward. OH MY!!! They were soooo naughty. Hailey didn't want to ride, she wanted to push everyone's stroller. Then the treats weren't enough for Ryker today, he SCREAMED the entire time. Well I cut the walk short and went home.
Then, Mike said that it was time for Costco. We ate dinner there. Right in the middle of dinner, they evacuated the entire place! They said that they had gotten a bomb threat. Anyway, so we left and went to Wal-mart. We first went home to grab the ads, because they match...anyway....matching takes a lot of concentration...I will NOT be doing this anytime soon. I just really needed milk and bananas, but if I would have known what was going to happen I would have stayed home.
We go into Wal-mart, and we head for the produce. Well, everything was okay. Ryker and Hailey are both in the cart. I am looking for things that match, and that we need. Well Mike gets her out, because she was being good, while Ryker pulls on the apples in a bag, and Hailey grabs them from him to put them back, and BLAM, he is on the floor quicker than I could catch him. I see it all in slow motion, throw everything down and go to my child who is now on the floor scared out of his mind. His neck is bent, and his body is in back of him, he cried in my arms sooo loud, and hard. Hailey was so sad, I know she didn't mean to, she said sorry a lot, but I didn't know what to do. Mike came over and I know he was trying to be nice, but, he grabbed Ryker from me and said "lets finish our shopping", What? I am in panic mode, Rykers' head was facing a direction that did not look good, and he wants to just finish shopping and move on.....I wanted to comfort him, and I wanted Mike to get Hailey so I didn't have to worry about her. I ended up giving him to Mike, and was just so sad the entire time. I used to work in the grocery stores and see this all of the time....now I am THAT mom....I feel sooooo bad, I just wish I could have done something, anything....I am a terrible mom. I want to let you know, that both kids are great tonight, and they are both asleep and Ryker CAN move....blessings.....wherever I can find them. Hopefully tomorrow is a better day. My mom also said something tonight to think about, she said that we all can think a little bit more before we judge and think bad things about "those" moms we see, that have unfortunate things happen to their kids. I know I will, next time I witness something sad. Two people came over to me, and asked how he was, and one even said babies move sooo fast. Thank you for not judging me.
I just need to go for a LONG run, and stop eating everything in sight.
Sorry for depressing you, thanks for reading my blog and being my friend.
So much for trying to save money in this economy right? Full prices, and healthy kids sounds a lot better to me.
Jess