Time goes on, ready or not!

Ready? Not even close!!!
It seems like time has just gone by so fast! I remember when we first found out we were having a baby, and now it is 15 days away. 15 days. I cannot imagine what my life, our life is going to be like. We are busy getting ready, washing, and packing diaper bags and mommy bags, getting the crib all ready....and trying to stay in the present. Our kids need me in the present.
I don't know how I am going to mother three kids, I mean I already love her, but I want to make sure the older kids have enough time with me and know that I love them..... but sharing the time between the three....I hope it's not too tricky. I hope that I can figure it all out. I hope my heart  can grow and reach where it needs to. I am not sure if that came out right, but I am just scared, I want to give all three what they need.
I am scared:
of labor
of going back to the baby stage
of waking up a lot, and not losing my mind
of not being good enough, for any of them, mostly a good wife....
of my health
bleeding out and never getting to mother again.....the most scary one of all. I have gotten my platelets checked regularly and they have been behaving. They just have to be above 100 to go into labor, and last week they were 150. I hope they stay up.
of the older kids going to school and me not working there. I loved it, and they have told me they have loved it as well.
I am just scared, terrified, happy and getting chills. I am not sure what the future has prepared for us. I know that Heavenly Father does.I know He will take good care of us. I need to remember that faith more often. I need to remember the miracles that happen daily, and not dwell on the scary things. I know things will work out, and I know we have had nine months to prepare for her. We are almost ready, but emotionally just not yet....I will keep praying, and having faith. I need to, my family needs me to.