Friday, December 23, 2011

A lot of crazy stuff!!

This past month has been crazy busy-in a good way. We have done a lot, and have gotten a lot done. We have served a lot and have had service done to us in secret. We went to see the new chipmunk movie, even though Ryker was throwing up on Thursday night, we decided he was okay to go, but to be honest he just cuddled the whole time, and had a little fever. We went to a buffet dinner after that, he ate soda crackers and a roll. He did have a good time though. I have to say though, I never knew that I depended so much on my car. Mikes car is down as of Monday, and he has taken mine, which has been hard, getting kids ready at the perfect time to get to the bus, and pray for the weather to be bearable, not a blizzard. We were lucky that this week was a short week, and that we have been home bodies lately. We have had to plan rides and ask people to help us out, which is not a strong point, I love to help someone, but I feel embarrassed to get help. My mom had to take us to the concert, and I had to go grocery shopping at 10:00 one night, because the kids were asleep, mike was home, and I had a car, and lastly we needed food. It has just taken a lot more planning. I am fine without a car when it is not winter, I ran everywhere for 8 months, in the summer and fall time. I just have issues running with the jogger in snow, maybe I need snow tires!!!
I am grateful that it happened this week, and where it happened, (in the garage), nothing too busy and not to hard of a week to share a car. I was just tested and thrown off a bit.
Hailey has been going to choir and got a speaking part in the concert. Well, the concert was on wednesday and she nailed her part. "His eyes how they twinkled, his dimples how merry, his cheeks were like roses his nose like a cherry, his droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow, and the beard of his chin was as white as snow."
She got a little nervous at first then she did great. She had to do it in front of the whole school and the parents, needless to say a lot of people. I had teary eye proud eyes, I was thrilled to watch her, she had a great time.
Then that night......the fun began. She threw up more times than I could count, it got everywhere. I did three loads of laundry, from midnight to three in the morning. We ended up going to sleep on the couch, just us, wondering when I would have to hand her the bowl. She ended up throwing up like every half an hour all night long. Poor thing, nothing left was in her, it was hard to watch.
Then we started getting things to stay down her, I prayed sooooo hard, I just wanted her to be able to keep down fluids, and go to the bathroom. I didn't want a doctor visit. My mom was nice enough to bring her sprite, and 7-up, and some medicine, thanks for helping us mom. She still had a fever last night, but we made it the whole day without throwing up. She did so great. I slept out in the front room with her again, just in case she needed anything.
This morning she is better than before. Lots of energy, lots of playing and even getting noisy, which if you have kids is so nice to see after they are not moving, and making weird noises all night and all day. She for sure has her health back. I am so glad that we didn't have to go to the hospital for dehydration, or to the doctor and run a strep test, she hates that test. Did you moms out there know that little kids normally throw up with strep throat, I have found this to be so true.
Anyway, nothing the the 24 hour flu to make you feel so grateful for your kids health, and that seeing them move and talk is amazing. I would like to give a shout out to my washer and dryer, you have worked over time, and I thank you. Also, to my little Lysol sprayer (Ryker), getting all the germies out, he has been great. I just hope we can keep them away!
I hope you all have a healthy and merry christmas.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Ryker is 4!!

Ryker is 4 today! I can't help but think that the first blog we did was introduce him to the world. I cannot believe how fast time has gone, I know everyone says that, but I remember everyday with my kids and I can't believe we have had so many of them together.
Ryker wanted an ice skating party this year. On Saturday night we had both sides of family over, we went ice skating, and we had dinner, cake and cream puffs at our house. I cannot believe how comfortable he is on the ice! He was flying around the ice, in his hockey outfit. I really need to get him back into his hockey classes, and let him enjoy it. He was falling and smiling the entire time. He had sooo much fun with his cousins and aunts and uncles, and mom, and dad even tried. I was so glad we got to do something he loves too much.
Ryker is so kind, and sweet. He has a wrestle side that comes out when he is around any adult male, and loves sports of any kind. He always tells me, "I am Ryker and I play all sports." Heavenly Father knew to send him to me, because he is so kind, and loving towards me. He loves to hug, cuddle, and give me kisses on the cheek. He tells me all of the time, "I love you to the light", we read that book, I love you to the moon and back, and I guess his ceiling light is far away in his eyes.
He really protects his sister Hailey, and really misses her. For his birthday today, he wanted to play with her at recess, so I took him up there. He had so much fun with her, and it was fun to surprise her. I took him for a cinnamon roll, to chick fil a and to get ice cream. He is for sure mine, he shares my love of food.
We love you to the light and back, Ryker. Happy 4th birthday!!!!
love-mom, dad, and howie

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Wow, my life is taken over.....

by KINDERGARTEN!!! between taking her to and from the bus stop, and volunteering, and halloween parties, i just need to remember to breathe! i would not change it for anything though. i have been on field trips and to the school and am so grateful that she has good friends and a wonderful teacher. i have ryker in school on wednesdays and he loves it. i don't know what to do with my time, really, i don't. the first time without both of them, it felt wierd running without them, really odd. i am so grateful i am a mom and that i get to be invloved in their little lives!
so much has gone on:
halloween came and went. ryker was bumblebee the transformer and hailey was ariel. they were so cute, and loved trick or treating.
i have to go and be a mom now, but i will update again, sometime soon, hopefully.

Monday, September 12, 2011

challenge!

I challenge you to a week of no TV, we did it, and it was great and hard. The first day, the kids asked me like 20 times to plug it in, the next day it was cut in half, and by the end of the week, they knew that a no in the morning was a no all day. It was great, we played more, talked more, and we imagined together. I really got to know what goes on in their heads. I took on the challenge too, no late night nothing for me. I missed a lot! Or did I? I got some sleep, and I was refreshed. I tell you, after Haileys party on Saturday, the BYU game was on and I hated to hear the noise! What a crazy thing.
Also, why did we do this? My kids love tv, and I love it too, but we needed to see that we can really function without it. I have been thinking about doing a no check blog week or Internet week. I feel that electronics have just taken over, I don't even have video games, I can only imagine that being a huge problem.
Parents: I would love to hear your comments on this, do you ever just want to throw everything out the "window", facebook, my space, blogging, tv in general, wii, playstation, x box, kinect, there are probably more, but I don't know of them. How much time do we all spend on these fun/relaxing things.
Just a thought.

Six

Hailey turned six on Saturday. I cannot believe she is six. We had a busy day, starting off with a 5k. She has always wanted to run one, she made it almost 2 miles, and then need to rest. She did a really great job. Then we went to a bridal shower for a friend. Ryker and Mike went up to watch Hockey at the nearby ice rink. That was fun to see them and meet them there after the shower.
Then the preparation for the party began. We filled water balloons, put chairs up, got the slip n slide ready, and got the pink lemonade mixed, and everything else ready.
The party started and everything went great. We did a craft, then they did the slip n slide, then to spice things up, hula hoop contest and jump rope contests! It was a great time, and she got a lot of really nice things, her friends and family are really too kind. Then we did the cake! She wanted a slip n slide cake, well I made a "wedding cake" as she calls it. We used 3 cake mixes and did a fun layer cake. She colored a picture to tell me what she wanted it to look like. I think it went pretty good, I am not a professional by any means. Then it started to rain, thank goodness the party was almost over and that we had a covered patio.
Then the night time came, and well we were just beat. I really had no energy left, I cleaned in slow motion, and then we got ready for bed. My sweet sister called to talk to Hailey and wish her a happy birthday. Then my other sweet sister called and asked if she could take Hailey shopping and for ice cream. My first thought was, oh she needs her sleep. But, I let her, and she let me and Ryker tag along and be the paparazzi, it was so fun. I am so grateful for 5 sweet sisters and for all the family that came and supported our little Hailey.
I love her too much! I cannot believe I have been a mom for six years, crazy! Hailey is so kind, loving, driven and knows what she wants. I love her to pieces, she is a great friend, and an awesome sister and a great daughter. She loves to cuddle and hug, and have the attention on her all of the time. She is great with her brother, and she has great ideas. I love having her in my home, and I love being her mom. I cannot believe it has been this long, since the doctor handed me a sweet little baby angel. I remember everyday with her, and they all went too fast. I do love the stage she is in, loving to learn, growing everyday, she is so smart, and hilarious!!
I will post pictures soon, I cannot do a birthday post without some awesome pictures of her party and just how cute she is, love her.

Monday, August 29, 2011

Brave panties were on today!

Today was an EPIC day, for all people who worry just a little bit more than average.
Hailey started kindergarten. Last night she received a blessing from her dad, and she said a prayer also, and she included, "please help mom to be brave, brave, brave, super brave," I know she is so ready and will love just every second of it but:
she rides a bus....
she is so small....
she is so sassy....
and loves attention....
and loves to talk....
she did great this morning. She got talking to some of the primary kids on the bus and they are the 5th and 6th graders on the bus, and got on with them. Not before a hug though, Ryker gave her the sweetest big hug too. They held hands the entire way to the bus stop, and of course had their backpacks, both of them. I think Ryker thought he was going to go too.
So, I talked with the bus driver and asked him what the drop off directions were, and asked if I could see where she ended up. All the rest of the kindergartners were at the front, not my Hailey, in the middle of the bus, with two older kids on each side of her. I took a picture, and she said, "mom, why are you on the bus, seriously?"
I laughed and got off the bus, and took Ryker for a run, we were talking the whole time, he was squirting me with the squirt gun, and told me the way to go, something that he never gets to do, and he got us back home.
He and I have never had this time before, just us. I have loved being at home with my kids, and this half day kindergarten is going to be so great for her, and I have to believe it will be good for all of us.
Today I will wear my brave panties, all while praying to Heavenly Father with gratitude that I didn't cry my eyes out, and to please watch over her, because I can't.
Does it ever get any easier, parents with older kids?

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Mmmmmmmm....

So, I put together this yummy sandwich, and I had to share.

Ingredients:
Baguette
artichoke hearts-canned
tomato
oregano
olive oil
white wine vinegar
provolone cheese
turkey-I added
ham-I added
purple onion
banana peppers-canned

You put the artichoke hearts, tomato, olive oil, vinegar, along with oregano in a bowl, and let them sit together.
I sliced the purple onion in rings, and added to the sandwich.
It was pictured with this mixture and only provolone cheese, well I added the sliced lunch meat, oh, sooooo good.
Mike added banana peppers to his, he loved it as well.
I should have taken a picture, but we ate it too fast!!

This is a way to have a great dinner without having to turn on your oven in this hot summer heat....I had to though, I made chicken on bleu, for my kids. They ate it up though.

Hope you are all enjoying the summer!!

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

9 years!

Today Mike and i celebrate 9 years together being married. We cannot believe it has been this long, and that it hasn't been longer....does that even make sense? Together we have grown up, raised 2 awesome kids, and have become a fun family. Sure, we have our ups and downs but who doesn't. I have some hard days with the kids, and with all the STRESS that comes with life....but who doesn't. I love my family and wouldn't know what to do without them.
I was explaining to Ryker and Hailey that Mike and I were married in the LDS Bountiful Temple, and that we are a forever family, and Ryker came and hugged me, and so sweetly said, "thanks mom." Ryker always asks about death and when he dies are we going to get another Ryker, and if I would miss him....well, I would miss my family and we could not replace anyone, but we have the knowledge that we GET to be together forever. It is soooo nice and wonderful knowing that.
Today I want to be a mom and a wife, not an exerciser, not an individual, just who I have become these last 9 years, and 5 years of being a mommy. I am living the dream that I have always wanted.
Please tell me, what do I have to complain about. This is really a good life!
(If you haven't heard that song, you should, it's by One Republic, I play it often as a good reminder.)
I LOVE YOU MIC!! Thanks for all of your hard work, so that I can stay home,and have the best life, EVER!!!
JEB
ps along with 9 years comes some awesome alter names.

Monday, June 6, 2011

Here comes the Sun!!!

We have had sun lately, and it has been sooooo great. We have spent a lot of time outside and can't wait to bring out the swim stuff. The kids start swim lessons tonight and it is just in time, we did get summer weather this year,(I had my doubts) and so we will be able to go to the pools and SWIM!!!
We planted a garden, and with all the crazy weather who knows what will grow, and live. I think our cucumbers are already gone. I have hopes that our tomatoes will still grow but really who knows. I think that our peas will make it....oh, it was fun planting and weeding the garden, anyway. It teaches the kids, right?
So, I think that I have talked too much about me and my problems on this blog, so today I am going to talk about progress and solutions.
Really, things are going great, probably the best ever, actually!! I have done really well. I have been going to the doctor, and he said that he had seen progress and that he recommended some counseling with an eating disorder counselor. Well, I didn't want to do counseling alone. So, I had gone to a couple of eating disorder groups, with the 12 step program that my church puts out.(LDS) It has been amazing, and I feel that I have come thru a lot of the "core" of the problem. I think that addiction is addiction and that even if the topic is not the addiction you are working with you still can be healed, it is pretty amazing how it works. So, the class is every week here, and in some areas every day. It has been so great to see that others are being healed and getting over their addictions and not getting stuck, it is great to have the atonement working in your life. I encourage anyone who is having a problem, whether you feel that it is an addiction or not, these classes have the spirit, and they work wonders. My mom has been going with me up here, and it is for supporters of people with addictions too, really this program helps all of us.
I don't know why I felt to put this in my blog, I just know that it is working for me, I am a believer. These classes help me see me and anyone that is in my life the way our Heavenly Father and Jesus see us. We need to be gentle with ourselves, and others. I have always tried my best to be gentle with others, but I have had a hard time loving myself, and thinking I don't deserve things. Well, my attitude is changing, and I feel that I am deserving of things and that I am a nice person. I feel like I am being cocky but really it has been a week, that I look in the mirror and think wow, you are pretty, guys, this has never happened...
I feel that I have made big progress, and you can too, we all tend to hide our problems really well. Tell people about it and share with your friends and family and you will feel soooo much better. I do.
I hope someday to go to a store and try on a pair of levis and not be scared to buy them, and not be worried about the size.....I will, the Lord will help me....hopefully soon.
Thanks for all of your comments and support. I am a different person, a lot happier and easier going.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Rainy old days, are getting well, old!

I am so tired of all this rain. I am grateful for it, but man, floods everywhere, and the rivers are just too high, not to mention the gray skies, and no going outside to play, no shorts and no sun. I need spring, I love love love it. I need to get my stroller fixed and get on long runs while pushing before it gets too hot, that we completely missed our lovely spring runs!
Ryker really wants to ride his new bike, a two wheeler with training wheels, and Hailey needs to get back on her bike. She fell a few times last week, and I want her to get comfortable and used to it, so she is not afraid of it. She got back on right after it, but I still want her to ride before she won't get on again.
I am proud of my kids for even wanting to ride bikes. I am so afraid of them, don't tell my kids, but I won't get on one, let alone go as fast as they do. That story will have to be for a later time, but this is the reason I do not do triathlons.
I am waiting for spring to well, spring.
I love my kids, and we had a blast today at the treehouse. It was fun to let them explore and to see their imagination come alive.
My preschool is coming to an end. It is sad really, Ryker will go to real preschool next year, and my dear Hailey is having her assessment next week for Kindergarten. Did you know that kindergarten is not required? I did not. i have heard this from a few parents who are great sources and I believe it, but I just didn't know that. What are your feelings about this, I think I will have her go because she needs the social right? Doesn't kindergarten offer a lot? She did just miss the deadline....oh..man.so confused. If only she would have been born on her due date, August 27....she came September 10....ya, don't ask!
Sorry for the tangent....
She is so excited and ready for it. We have been practicing her sight words and letter sounds and writing and writing her letters and numbers. She can count to 100, with a little help, and today she counted by two's to 20. I will miss her though, she has been fun watching. I am sad that Ryker is going to a real preschool, it has been fun helping him and watching him grow. He knows how to write some letters, knows his alphabet, can count to 30, and knows a lot of songs. He is going to be ready for his class.
Anyway, thought I would post something. I am waiting for the kids to go shopping with me, and then off to ice skating tonight. They have soooo much fun doing this. I love to see them having fun, and enjoying life.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Busy April and May!

We have had a busy month.
We have been here and there and everywhere. I am glad that we am home and we can get back in the swing of things, the routines and all. Last week we had spring break.
Mike started an insurance company, and he is doing awesome, he will be certified soon. It has been a lot of long days with my two buddies and not a lot of daddy and husband time.
We have almost concluded a session of learning to skate. The kids are doing great. I have met a lot of awesome hockey moms and they are so sweet to my little family. Hailey really seems to like it, and Ryker is getting more comfortable on the ice. He is still wearing his hockey gear EVERYWHERE, and getting all sorts of awesome comments. Hailey started skating backwards last night, it was great to see her and feel her confidence.
We went down to my sister in laws house and sewed capes for her little guys super hero party. It was a lot of fun.
I got some more of Haileys' quilt done, it's getting there.
I found some time to run. okay, confession, a lot!
I took the kids running today and at the end Ryker was pushing the stroller and ran it into the curb, wow, front wheel totally came off. I feel like my stroller is totaled. I am glad that we have a car and that we can still get around and that I have a treadmill. I hope it is an easy fix and will be ready for the 5k on Saturday.
We went to a funeral, of our dear former neighbor.
We all went Easter at Mike's parents, and had a lot of fun.
We went to a special event for Mike's family.
We went to Mike's work and had a picnic with him.
Hailey has learned to ride her big bike without training wheels, it is so cute. She goes really fast, it is kind of scary. She loves it.
I have done a lot of yard work, and if I don't say so myself, it looks awesome. I have already mowed the lawn, and another lawn in Orem. I sure love yard work, and the beauty of it all. I helped my sister in law with her yard, and she helped me mow the lawn, for her FIRST time ever. It was great to see that now she has the confidence to mow her lawn. It is sooooo rewarding!!!
We have went to the library, the dinosaur park, the nature center, and many grocery stores, and a few Costco's. It has been quite busy, but we all survived.
I know this is all just the daily stuff, but I am glad that we can come home, and relax. I have been stressed out, on getting here and there on time, and getting the kids to eat in between. I am tired of saying "please, listen to me" "please, be quiet" "please, hurry" "stop screaming" "be careful" and "please, go to sleep, it's time" "don't walk on the tile with ice skates, only carpet".
I am happier than I have been in a long time. I am getting there people, I am. It has been five months of exploring "me", but I am almost there. I am also more tired than I have been in a long time. I love being a mom, but wow, I am sure spent. I hope other moms feel this way.
Happy mothers day to everyone. I am grateful for my mom, and all that she did for me and continues to do. I love you so much. I am grateful for my California mom as well, man I love her and miss her.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Dear Mr. 9:30-10:00,

I call you a mister because I don't think that a misses would be so mean! Mother Nature is beautiful, so, she, naturally, is a woman, but time goes too fast and is not so patient, your a man.
I really dislike you, no matter the day, no matter how much I have done and how tired I am, I eat, eat like a crazy person!
I love nachos, cinnamon rolls, a bowl of oatmeal, really anything. I have tried an apple or banana, but that does not satisfy you.
You screw up my whole day, I do really, really good and then you come around!
Every night I think I am going to beat you, and then I give in and guess what? You win, and have won for a very long time.
I used to be soooo good, not eating anything after 7:00, and then I fell out of habit, and I fell into your trap.
I have a love/hate relationship really. I love to feel full, but I hate the calories I sleep on every night.
I need to do better AND I will. Starting tonight, because anyone can start on MONDAY, why not start today, Thursday?
Tonight I will conquer! Or, maybe I will just go to bed. Either way, you are so going down!!

Let's switch the topic:
MOTIVATION what is it exactly?
Many people tell me that I motivate them. I was told this in the last 3 places I have lived, is this a good thing or bad? I don't know if I am so crazy addicted to exercise that people just say that to make me feel good, or if I really am motivating them. I just recently moved as a lot of you know, and this has once again been brought up, I have got in touch with some high school friends and they want to run with me, and lose weight, they say they want to work out with me. I was shopping at a grocery store I used to work at and two girls want to run with me, one of them ran a 5k with me, and she said that I "pushed" her and helped her sooo much. (We finished at 28 flat! I wish I would have sprinted the last mile like I normally do, but that is fine, we finished and we felt great. Last week I ran a 25 min 3 miler, it felt so great.)
I need someone to motivate me, to be healthier and to actually count on me to do good and be good with my food choices.
Two of them just ran in with sunglasses and goggles and a hammer, and let's not forget the bandana. My family SHOULD be the most important motivator. I need to get my life in order.
As you can tell, I am still really trying to figure things out. I am getting better though. I got my scale back, and it is good just to have the option of getting on or just letting it collect dust. I still weigh 141, but that is just because of my awesome eating habits. I need to be healthier.

On a much happier note:

HOCKEY has begun! We got Ryker into developmental hockey classes, and he and Hailey are both in ice skating lessons. They do sooooo good. Hailey amazed me, she just got on the ice and went for it, if she were to fall, she just got right back up! Ryker is a little bit more hesitant, but on Tuesday he was skating by himself. He is scared of falling, but he has all the hockey pads, helmet, and gloves on, it's really cute looking. (He really has nothing to be afraid of except for having sooo much on that he can't move if he fell, Ralphie anyone?) He and Hailey have made instant friends at the skating rink, and Ryker has a lot of "hockey buddies."
People are so nice in this hockey family. We were given hockey pads, 2 pairs of skates, and this sweet lady said she has pants, gloves, and a helmet. How nice is that? I am impressed with rough and tough hockey parents and children and young adults. Ryker had an amazing two nights, and Hailey "loves to dance on ice."
We are doing great and hope that spring wants to come soon, oh, how we want be be outside. Mike is starting an insurance business so this week has brought new habits, and new routines, but we are soooo excited for him, and we are happy he is happy.
Sorry if you felt like I am rambling, I just need to figure things out and where I want to be and who I want to be.







Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Family

I am so grateful that I know that we have forever families and that I have my little family forever. My Uncle Bob passed away on Saturday, from a hard, battle with Cancer. He and his family are so strong, they are seriously boulders, they know that plan, and they are all at peace. I am sad for them, but they are comforting others! They are such a great example of faith, love, and hope, and how a marriage should be. I was talking with my aunt, and expressing if Mike were sick, I hope I could be like her, loving and caring, and serviceable, and forgetting myself, and living without regret. She said that she doesn't have one single regret of their life together or their marriage, wow. I said that I would probably be angry, feeling anxious, and moody, if I had to go through something like that. She said, "Jess, I have never known you to be mad, or moody." If only that were true......
I hope I can learn how to live that life that I am supposed to live. I am sure trying. We had a lesson on Sunday in relief society about Charity. I was telling Mike how charity never ends and never really starts, it's just in us, and he said, is it even there? Yes, it is, but we need to develop it, and it truly is the pure love of Christ. In the lesson also, was a comment that charity begins in the home, with our family. She is a young mother of two and one on the way, and her husband is in his second year of residency! I thought of that Sunday morning, Ryker crying all night long, and I didn't get up a few times, to go and comfort him, and I thought, if it starts in the home, then this morning I am a failure of charity.
Life is getting in more of a routine here, running has started up again, watching what I eat has begun again, well, more portion control, I stop myself when I feel full, and a new weight lifting thing is going on. Is it normal for your neck to get bigger? -total side note- I am trying to live just to live not to live to try to get to that size 6 again. I just need to be comfortable in my size 8 new skin.-or old skin stretched however you look at it- I need to remember I used to be a size 18, and 175, and I delivered Hailey at 215+ I stopped weighing myself 10 days over due, and I went 15 days over due. I delivered Ryker at 145, but, wait, I am almost 145, or at least a month ago I was. So what does this all mean, well, I honestly don't know, but I know it weighs a lot on my heart and nerves. I just want to weigh myself, and make sure it is going down and not going up. What would happen though if it did go up, would I be a different person, I know that I am different than the size 18, 175 girl, she had fun, she was carefree, and outgoing, didn't worry about anything. The mom, wife, sister, daughter, is very different now, and now the road begins to find herself and make some difference in this world, starting in my own little house, along with charity.
Hailey was saying a prayer, and she said Heavenly Father and Jesus, please take care of Uncle Bob like a mom would. Oh, and we are so glad that his Cancer is away, and that he is healthy again. This is why we are to become as children, so caring, honest, sensitive, loving, charitable, and soooooo forgiving.
Tonight I will love my family more, and serve them with a smile. We are so great together, and we have forever to be better.
Off to feed the ducks.
PS: This morning we spent a lot of time in our backyard playing in the snow, Ryker made a snowman with four parts, in a while it fell over, and he laughed and laughed, sooooo cute. I pulled the kiddos on a sled for a long time, that alone is a workout, the best workout ever, hearing laughter is such great medicine. I do hope though, that this was our last snow storm.
We can have fun in the spring too, right?

Monday, February 28, 2011

Fresh start!

new home.
new rules, no food anywhere, the kitchen is where it is made and where it stays.
new eating habits need to start.
new trails for running need to be found.
new driveway to shovel.
new rooms, they love having their own rooms.
new quality of life.
new dreams at night, we all sleep soooo good here.
new friends.
new ward. (same songs, hailey was amazed!)
new garbage day.
new recycle can.
new commute.
new found sunshine.
new beautiful lit buildings at night and in the am, hailey loves to see the lights of buildings, we were in the basement before.
new sunsets in rykers room. he loves to see it every night, and we all watch it together.
new big yard.
new double garage.
new shed.
new.
we miss the old.
miss seeing grandpa, and mikes family.
old neighborhood.
old routines.
old ward, who helped move us, thank you sooo much.
old big door that my jogger could fit through with ease.
former friends, because we are not old, we miss you all.
former running friends, some i didn't even get to say goodbye.
old runs, man, i had those things clocked and timed, with and without jogger.

same old stuff just a new place for all of them to happen and be in. we love our new house and a fresh start. we are excited, and ready for our new life and new adventures. it is great to live so close to my family. love, love, love it!

we had sooo much help with moving out and moving in. thank you to all of you who helped, and gave to our family a lot of your time and back muscles. we love and appreciate everything. we had people come up from orem to help us, yes they traveled....can you even believe that? i am so amazed with the generous people in this world, and i am grateful that they are our lifer friends. i hope i can help them one day, and show them how grateful we are.

i exercised for an hour this morning, with unpacking and everything, haven't had much time for that, hopefully i can make that a new routine. i only exercised two times last week, it was sad for me, i had to tell myself that moving furniture, and unpacking and moving my body all day was still exercise. i was not too convincing, but the treats were, holy cow, too many treats last week. i am trying to be better, i need to. i have had some issues with this section of my life to say the least. i will be better.
fresh start, remember?

Monday, February 7, 2011

What a new post? Are you for real?

We have been busy here:
Christmas was great, and the new year brought new projects to mind, and new goals. Mike is starting a business, and that was number one, to get it rolling and registered. I had my own plans, run faster and longer, eat better, stop buying those yummy junk foods that I always bring home, make my blog private, be a better mom and wife, friend, daughter, de-junk my house and give things away,go to the doctor and get well child checks, me a physical, dentist cleanings, and just have fun with my family....
well...things change right?
We put that all on hold until the beginning of January, and then we started to do things, by going to the dentist and doctor. The kids got shots, Hailey was brave at the dentist, 2 cavities and a baby root canal (?what the heck, I thought I was really good with her brushing, I felt sooo bad) Ryker didn't even let them in, the dentist looked at his smile, and said that he had good enamel. Ryker was really great with Hailey getting dental work, he held her hand and asked if she was okay. It was really cute, he worries soooo much about her.
We almost bought a house, and put it off for reasons that I did not know, it was kind of sad, I really liked it but it was not in the BEST location, and it DIDN'T have a YARD! We passed on it. Mike had put the starting of the business on hold to, for a reason I did not know.
I went to the doctor and got some SAD (but much needed) news....
Apparently I am ADDICTED to running....not in a good way. The doctor said that I am on the verge of an eating disorder. What? I had no clue that eating anything you want and exercising the extra calories was dangerous or naughty. I guess I have had this for awhile. I seriously had no clue. I was told to give my scale to Mike, read Intuitive Eating, only exercise for 5 days for an hour a day, and NOT count calories. I was put on restriction. The doctor asked if I was motivated to get up with my kids if they got up at 5:30 AM, and I said probably not, and then he asked if I would be motivated to go for a run at that time, wow, what an eye opener. When I was training for my marathon, I would not even be able to sleep knowing I was going to get a good run in, in the morning, I would be sooo excited to run, wow, I really needed a fix, didn't I? He then asked me "Why do you think I am doing this?" I said because you are mean, and then I cried. He said, no, I am doing this to save your life, to save your quality of life, and to make sure HAILEY does not do this. A couple of days into this Hailey wanted to weigh herself to see if she is big enough for a booster, and I said we don't have one, wow, the biggest melt down I have ever seen, I guess I need to look in the mirror, it would have been identical for sure.
I felt terrible for the first two weeks, not weighing myself, not running as much as I would like, transforming a two hour workout a day for 6 days, into 5 days for an hour, ONLY AN HOUR, people, I was going crazy. I cried, I was moody, I was sad, I seriously did not know what my purpose was anymore, worst of all, I didn't want to gain the weight back. I know this sounds soooo extreme, but I had to go through these feelings to realize I DO HAVE A PROBLEM.
So, now I run for 30 to 40 minutes, and stretch for 30 or 20 minutes, and I do a longer run on Saturdays. I take Fridays and Sundays, OFF, which is huge for me. If I don't get a workout in, it is missed, but I am okay with this now, that is sooo big for me. I might not fit into my clothes quite yet, but maybe I need new clothes, maybe I was not at my ideal weight. I am still trying to find out.
Then we went up to my mom's for a baptism of a relative. This also helped to regroup from all this weight stuff on a Saturday. We decided to look at some houses for fun, and we found the best house! It was perfect. It is on 1/3 of an acre, in a circle, and it has a rental. (Mikes dream) It is the center of the circle, so big yard (my dream). We thought about it for a long time. Then we found out there was an offer on it, what? we are going to lose this? I thought to myself, do you know how many houses you have looked at, and now you are going to lose this one? We have looked at soooo many nice ones, put offers on too many, and I am sooo sick of the process.
We went up the next weekend also and we looked at it again, I thought no this time, that it wasn't right, we looked at a few others, nothing seemed to be working. (I guess I didn't feel no, but Mike found some things wrong with it this time, and we were just confused, it was the devil, I just know it!) Mike read this, and he said, "I didn't know that you were feeling no at this time," and I really wasn't it was just confusing, and it was just an odd feeling to have.. It was sad, we felt so good about moving at this time in our lives. Anyway, we just didn't do anything. We spent all Saturday and Sunday thinking about it and finally....we became grown ups!
On Monday January 17 we put in an offer against the other offer, on the BEST house with the rental. On Wednesday the 19th they picked OURS!!!! We are moving!!!! Mike has always wanted a rental, and this house will just work out great. It is so close to my family, and closer to Mikes work. The kids will go to school with their cousins, and Hailey will ride a bus, that is her dream.
We will miss living with Grandpa, other relatives, and this ward, everything was so great. We have had a lot of service opportunities and we will miss everyone, we have made some "lifer" friends.
Soooo.......
In the midst of moving...I sliced my finger open, I was grabbing soap in the shower and grabbed my SHAVER, bled for two hours, another doctor visit. He super glued it. It is still healing and man it hurts real bad.
Kids got croup-out of commission for a whole week. I was so tired, and they were sooo sick. Two doctor visits, almost ER visit, for a chest x ray, thought Ryker was getting pneumonia. We decided to wait it out, and they are much better, after a priesthood blessing.
Last night I went in to check on them, and Ryker was no where to be found, I looked everywhere. Then I looked at Hailey, he was in her bed cuddling with her, it was sooo sweet. Then Hailey woke up and said, "What the heck, why is Jack on my freaking pillow!" It was still really sweet. Thank goodness for medicine and breathing treatments to heal these sweet little kids.
Ryker is going through identity crisis:
For a week he was Bumblebee, then Astro Boy and now Jack (from Hook). He makes everyone call him that, he WILL correct you. He says he is Jack who plays sports. He is so sweet and has quite the imagination. Hailey is getting better from her sickness, and she is getting so big. She is quite the helper, loves to clean and loves to help pack. She and Jack are in boosters now, and I just filled out Kindergarten papers, wow! We are excited for changes, and the new life that we will have.
I really feel that everything is for a reason, our new house doesn't have a lot of storage, but that is fine. I think that is why we lived in California, to realize that you don't NEED a lot of room. Happy/great people live in homes without storage, you just do it. We also made "lifer" friends in California, that we consider family. I think I needed to have this addiction, to realize I need to have motivation in my family life, and not just in myself, and improving me. With telling close friends and family a month ago, that I was going through this, amazingly, they already knew. I just needed to find out my own way, it was hard to tell people, I was so embarrassed and ashamed that I let it go sooo far, out of control. Some people were like, ya, hello, I have told you that, or I told you that 4 years ago. Others were surprised like me, and others probably are thinking twice that they have asked me to help train them, or coach them. I hope I can get my life in order, to one day help people and motivate them in the right way and teach them the right way of doing things.
I wanted to share a thought that I heard:
When a new baby comes to this world, they are perfect right, they just came from a very loving Heavenly Father, to everyone they are perfect, their parents, especially grandparents, I think we should let that stick and remember we are perfect to those people still. I know that I should be more gentle with myself.
A HUGE thanks to Mike and the kiddos for going through all these emotions and stages of addiction with me...I know I have been a beast. I sure LOVE you all.
Also, thanks to all the friends and family who support me, in all that I do, and still love me.
Sorry this was soooo long. Thanks for reading, and sharing good news with me.