I really dislike you, no matter the day, no matter how much I have done and how tired I am, I eat, eat like a crazy person!
I love nachos, cinnamon rolls, a bowl of oatmeal, really anything. I have tried an apple or banana, but that does not satisfy you.
You screw up my whole day, I do really, really good and then you come around!
Every night I think I am going to beat you, and then I give in and guess what? You win, and have won for a very long time.
I used to be soooo good, not eating anything after 7:00, and then I fell out of habit, and I fell into your trap.
I have a love/hate relationship really. I love to feel full, but I hate the calories I sleep on every night.
I need to do better AND I will. Starting tonight, because anyone can start on MONDAY, why not start today, Thursday?
Tonight I will conquer! Or, maybe I will just go to bed. Either way, you are so going down!!
Let's switch the topic:
MOTIVATION what is it exactly?
Many people tell me that I motivate them. I was told this in the last 3 places I have lived, is this a good thing or bad? I don't know if I am so crazy addicted to exercise that people just say that to make me feel good, or if I really am motivating them. I just recently moved as a lot of you know, and this has once again been brought up, I have got in touch with some high school friends and they want to run with me, and lose weight, they say they want to work out with me. I was shopping at a grocery store I used to work at and two girls want to run with me, one of them ran a 5k with me, and she said that I "pushed" her and helped her sooo much. (We finished at 28 flat! I wish I would have sprinted the last mile like I normally do, but that is fine, we finished and we felt great. Last week I ran a 25 min 3 miler, it felt so great.)
I need someone to motivate me, to be healthier and to actually count on me to do good and be good with my food choices.
Two of them just ran in with sunglasses and goggles and a hammer, and let's not forget the bandana. My family SHOULD be the most important motivator. I need to get my life in order.
As you can tell, I am still really trying to figure things out. I am getting better though. I got my scale back, and it is good just to have the option of getting on or just letting it collect dust. I still weigh 141, but that is just because of my awesome eating habits. I need to be healthier.
On a much happier note:
HOCKEY has begun! We got Ryker into developmental hockey classes, and he and Hailey are both in ice skating lessons. They do sooooo good. Hailey amazed me, she just got on the ice and went for it, if she were to fall, she just got right back up! Ryker is a little bit more hesitant, but on Tuesday he was skating by himself. He is scared of falling, but he has all the hockey pads, helmet, and gloves on, it's really cute looking. (He really has nothing to be afraid of except for having sooo much on that he can't move if he fell, Ralphie anyone?) He and Hailey have made instant friends at the skating rink, and Ryker has a lot of "hockey buddies."
People are so nice in this hockey family. We were given hockey pads, 2 pairs of skates, and this sweet lady said she has pants, gloves, and a helmet. How nice is that? I am impressed with rough and tough hockey parents and children and young adults. Ryker had an amazing two nights, and Hailey "loves to dance on ice."
We are doing great and hope that spring wants to come soon, oh, how we want be be outside. Mike is starting an insurance business so this week has brought new habits, and new routines, but we are soooo excited for him, and we are happy he is happy.
Sorry if you felt like I am rambling, I just need to figure things out and where I want to be and who I want to be.
