Family

I am so grateful that I know that we have forever families and that I have my little family forever. My Uncle Bob passed away on Saturday, from a hard, battle with Cancer. He and his family are so strong, they are seriously boulders, they know that plan, and they are all at peace. I am sad for them, but they are comforting others! They are such a great example of faith, love, and hope, and how a marriage should be. I was talking with my aunt, and expressing if Mike were sick, I hope I could be like her, loving and caring, and serviceable, and forgetting myself, and living without regret. She said that she doesn't have one single regret of their life together or their marriage, wow. I said that I would probably be angry, feeling anxious, and moody, if I had to go through something like that. She said, "Jess, I have never known you to be mad, or moody." If only that were true......
I hope I can learn how to live that life that I am supposed to live. I am sure trying. We had a lesson on Sunday in relief society about Charity. I was telling Mike how charity never ends and never really starts, it's just in us, and he said, is it even there? Yes, it is, but we need to develop it, and it truly is the pure love of Christ. In the lesson also, was a comment that charity begins in the home, with our family. She is a young mother of two and one on the way, and her husband is in his second year of residency! I thought of that Sunday morning, Ryker crying all night long, and I didn't get up a few times, to go and comfort him, and I thought, if it starts in the home, then this morning I am a failure of charity.
Life is getting in more of a routine here, running has started up again, watching what I eat has begun again, well, more portion control, I stop myself when I feel full, and a new weight lifting thing is going on. Is it normal for your neck to get bigger? -total side note- I am trying to live just to live not to live to try to get to that size 6 again. I just need to be comfortable in my size 8 new skin.-or old skin stretched however you look at it- I need to remember I used to be a size 18, and 175, and I delivered Hailey at 215+ I stopped weighing myself 10 days over due, and I went 15 days over due. I delivered Ryker at 145, but, wait, I am almost 145, or at least a month ago I was. So what does this all mean, well, I honestly don't know, but I know it weighs a lot on my heart and nerves. I just want to weigh myself, and make sure it is going down and not going up. What would happen though if it did go up, would I be a different person, I know that I am different than the size 18, 175 girl, she had fun, she was carefree, and outgoing, didn't worry about anything. The mom, wife, sister, daughter, is very different now, and now the road begins to find herself and make some difference in this world, starting in my own little house, along with charity.
Hailey was saying a prayer, and she said Heavenly Father and Jesus, please take care of Uncle Bob like a mom would. Oh, and we are so glad that his Cancer is away, and that he is healthy again. This is why we are to become as children, so caring, honest, sensitive, loving, charitable, and soooooo forgiving.
Tonight I will love my family more, and serve them with a smile. We are so great together, and we have forever to be better.
Off to feed the ducks.
PS: This morning we spent a lot of time in our backyard playing in the snow, Ryker made a snowman with four parts, in a while it fell over, and he laughed and laughed, sooooo cute. I pulled the kiddos on a sled for a long time, that alone is a workout, the best workout ever, hearing laughter is such great medicine. I do hope though, that this was our last snow storm.
We can have fun in the spring too, right?