Tuesday, August 19, 2008

WHAT?!?!?

I know a double post from me of all people.
For this story you will need a little background. Hailey asked me what Ryker had when I was changing his diaper a long time ago, Ryker was maybe 2 months old. Well, I being honest,said he has a penis. She said a penis, well what do I have? I said you have a vagina. She now calls it agina, and penis. Well we were at church and she had her baby, mind you this was Rykers debut at church, she was waiting for the bread and water, and turns to Mike and says my baby has a penis, he is a boy. Mike says no Hailey, and she looks at it and says oh yeah, she has a agina. The people were in back of us just laughing, too bad I didn't hear it. She is pretty funny, she tells me when she sees a boy or a girl, what they have, and I can't help but laugh.
Hailey has been doing great this month with the whole potty thing. She even is doing great at night. Mike hates it, she gets up at 3:00 like on the dot every night to go potty and calls him to help her wipe! It makes me smile inside. (is that evil)
Anyway, this is what I walked in on today. Hailey said that she needed to go potty and so I said I will change Ryker and come in and help you wipe. So I go in, and laugh, she has the seat up, shorts and panties still on, and she is standing looking down, hands in position to hold her "stuff." I quickly corrected that behavior and asked her where she learned that. And she said that is what Daddy doos! It made me laugh, and I told her well we are not like daddy.
Kids do the funniest things. I am sorry I told her the correct names, she is only almost 3, I have created a monster!

What I HAVE and HAVEN"T learned: LONG!!!

Well, here it goes:
I run a lot, with the kids, and always ponder when we are doing so, the last few weeks I have thought about what I have learned in my life, and what I want to learn.
Here is what I have learned:
I have learned that money does not provide happiness, you do. I have learned that communication is the key to any successful relationship especially in marriage. (I am still learning how to communicate well though) I have learned that marriage is the most awesome thing ever, if I would just let it be. I have learned that things change and people change even though you want everything to remain the same. I have learned that after moving out and away from home, your family changes or you do, and it is and never will be the same. This one has been hard on me, I never thought that this would happen. I want things to remain the same, but we are ever changing people and moving world. "Who moved my Cheese" comes to mind, awesome book about change, if anyone is interested. It has taught me how to cope with some hard stuff. I have learned that when I am in a bad mood the whole family is. I have learned that I love DRAMA! (anyone surrprised) I have learned to love, now I wish I could let my guard completetly down and be loved. This one is a hard one for me, I need to realize that I am worth being loved, and I think we all need to know that we deserve this and that we are worth it, still working on this one for now, but I am getting better. Love is great, and so hard at the same time, it is a full time job. I have learned that running is a great thing, and I wish I would have picked it up in High School, or earlier. I was soooo extremely lazy, and at the time I thought I was sooo busy and that I was doing sooo much, not even close. I have learned I need to learn how to check my emotions, I am getting better, but there is still room for improvement. I have learned that having kids is so amazing and so amazingly hard at the same time. I have learned that pregnancy is sooo hard and wonderful all at once. I have learned that delivering a little person, wow that nothing compares to it. I have also learned that I am an emotional person. I have learned that taking a time out for yourself is an amazing gift. I have learned that sleep is sooo overrated! I have learned that when you get a hall pass, you better run with it! I am learning to trust Mike more with the kids, I know this should be a given but I am the one home all day, and when I leave, it just makes me nervous. (Mike is great, when I do come home, they are all laughing and having a great time.) I am learning to live in the season of your life. I think this is so hard to do, if you're like me, I am always looking at the next thing, I need to enjoy where I am at. I have learned to load the silverware in the dishwasher with the handles down, it cleans them better, I guess. (thanks Mike) I have also learned that the proper way to wash a car is roof to bottom, I didn't know I was doing it wrong all these years. ( thanks Mike) Also, for any cleaners out there, I have learned an easy way to clean a toilet, do the back first, then the top of the seat, then lift the lid, clean that and keep going down until you reach the bowl. It is great, and I only use 4 Clorox wipes instead of like 10! I have learned that Hailey is getting big, and I need to trust her she is a good kid, and I need to give her more credit. I am learning how to be happy with the life that I am in, and living. I am learning to smile more, and laugh more. I have learned how to keep a home clean with two little kids, which is not easy. I have learned how to cook and in doing so found out I love it. (minus cinnamon rolls, hahahaha California friends know this mistake, SORRY!!!!) I have learned that I wish I would have taken piano lessons seriously, I can only play the hymns, I guess that's all that's important, but still....I have learned that friends are truly angels and that they are sent by our loving Heavenly Father, I am so grateful for each and every one of you. You have all been a very important part of my life, and I hope that that continues. I have learned that hugging my kids or anyone for that matter is just what they need sometimes. I have learned that Ryker and Hailey are such great little people, they never stop making me smile. I have learned that I need to be an example, and good example for them which is sometimes REALLY hard. I have learned that the Temple is a wonderful place, and that I don't go enough. I have learned that service is a huge part of life, and it is amazing for all who partakes, the givers and the receivers. I have learned and still am learning to recognize our blessings, that is a hard one!
I want to learn:
To love myself, to for starters like the person I am. I am really hard on myself, and I just think there is enough negativity in the world, that I should be nice to me. I need to learn to deligate, I am terrible, I just do it myself, so I know that it is done and that it is done "right." I need to learn what the words "over exercise", "over achiever", well lets face it, "over everything" means. I need to learn to trust people, and not think that they are doing things with a hidden motive. I need to learn that people are not always going to like you or be nice to you and that that is okay. I am still trying not to be too sensitive, or take things the wrong way. That is a hard one, oh I am a tender heart. I never knew that this was a bad thing. I am still learning that weighing yourself 3 or 4 times a day is not necessary, which brings me to the next point, of learning that weight does not and will NEVER matter! (Our Heavenly Father wants us to be healthy and happy, and not crazy thinking about little things like that.) It really only matters what person you are inside, and I need to learn that. Some of the happiest times in my life, were and are eating ice cream!!! I am still learning how to be a mom, and a wife, and my own person. I quite haven't got that down yet. I need to learn to be more "chill", of a person, oh I worry about the silliest things. I need to think before I speak, "open mouth insert foot" should not be part of my life anymore. I need to learn to talk less and listen more. I also need to learn more about the gospel, it is why we are here, and I don't know what I need/want to.
I know that I am not a perfect person and that I need to learn and keep an open mind always. I am just saying this is what I have learned and want to learn, and now it's down in print, so it's official. I strive to be the best person in all that I do, and sometimes I fall short. I am sorry if I have ever fallen short with any of you, and for some reason hurt your feelings. Please forgive me, I am trying hard to "fresh start" everything, and make it a better finish.
I want to know what you all think about, our minds are "kids" all day, but we are people too, and our feelings do matter. I don't know if this is a silly post or not, but there goes my worry factor in me, I hope you all can get something from this, if not anything a good laugh at me for just barely figuring this out
UPDATE ON PICTURES:
Sorry, we have been crazy nuts helping the grandparents, and living the summer life. I am not promising anything but we don't have ANY commitments this weekend so cross your fingers with me! Sorry so long, thanks for listening to my heart.